Wow, this has been a whirled wind of a year. This has been a year that I can describe as having many opportunities to grow (you can look at difficulties as a hindrance or as an opportunity). One of the hardest things I have had to learn is letting go. I have not by all means learn but I think that at least I have learned to keep an open mind and trust my spouse on the issues and things that matter most. Carr started preschool. Deep breath, yes my little man is with strangers. I know, I know, it is something that he needs, especially because he is an only child. I know all the benefits, I am not stupid or crazy. It is just so hard to let go of something so priceless and fragile. Now that I am a mom, I see teachers under a whole different light and I also wonder if they see themselves in the same way. Hold on a minute! Please understand I don't think my son to be the coming messiah, but he is my special blessing and as such I have nurtured him, and tried to protect him from anything that I found that could hurt him. I know that every one of the moms in his class think the same of their children, wow talk about pressure!
I took that day off, I knew I would be a hot mess. What I didn't know was how he would react to all this. He has always been pretty independent, he would stay at Mimi's no problem or go on play dates with my best friend and her children. I felt confident that having to go to preschool and having his cousin in his same class would make everything easier. He whimpered and I cried (without him seeing me), I am glad the first month is past and he is fully adjusted. I am also blessed that it is my husband that takes him and not I. I am a coward and I will be the first to admit it. So glad it's my husband "leaving" him. I wouldn't bear it, I would probably be convincing myself that homeschooling was the best avenue for us.
|walking to class holding hands with his best buddy and cousin Henry|
|So happy to see us!|
I told my husband that letting go started that day. From now on it will be a constant in our lives, every time it will get easier for him but at the same time harder for us. One day it will be college, or his first apartment or getting married, our baby is not a baby anymore...sniff.