Friday, January 16, 2009

Carr walks...and I missed it!

Carr walked for the first time last Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009. And yes, I missed it. I was so happy that he starting walking before he turned one but I was at the same time furious with life. How unfair it is to work and miss those moments. Instead of feeling sad, I felt furious. I remember a comment I had to take, one of many, from a stay at home mom, she called me an "amateur mom". She treated me like I was only a part-time caregiver and had no parenting knowledge what so ever. Yes, furious! This only made me go through all the mental notes on articles read about wearing your baby, breast feeding forever, the importance of being there for him. Oh well, can I sincerely expect these women to understand anything about sacrifice? Do they know I work and I cook, prepare his food, take care of him at night, play with him as much as I can before goes to sleep. Do they know that I work many nights until midnight at home?
If your a stay at home mom and you feel offended by my words, i am truly sorry but try not to judge working moms so harshly and try to imagine what we are going through. I sincerely think that women should not be so judgemental of one another. We have hard expectations to achieve. We must be educated, we must be successful and also be some sort of 50s model housewife. Very Hard!
I work because my baby needs to have health insurance, he needs clothes, sustenance and toys. I also work because I enjoy it. Yes, I really enjoy my job. Having the possibility to help others on a daily basis is God's blessing to me. In the long run, I hope my son understands that I did the best I could and that he has a successful mom with aspirations of her own and has a life out of the house.
Here I am posting a video of my baby walking and playing, i am so proud of him I could cry!

He is also playing with his first birthday gift that Celeste gave him last week. He loves his Pooh honey jar! Thank you Celeste.

Carr's birthday card

So I made up my mind months ago, I was going to make a homemade birthday card for Carr and send it to Sprout channel's "The sunnyside-up show". My husband and I are crossing our fingers that they show it live.
Of course I pracrastinated until now and then I was rushed to send it in on time. Hopefully you enjoy the pics.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

My ideas on parenting

Wow, I read the title and it makes me cringe also!

I do not want to preach or tell anyone what to do. I do not know anything about parenting other than parenting my own son. Also, Let me make this very clear, that I can change my mind tomorrow on any statement or statements that I write today. I say this because I have changed my mind too many times since my son was born. I also want to say that what is good for me does not mean it can work for you. I want my son to know how I thought when he was growing up, what challenges I faced and how I reacted to them. If I would have had this from my mom it would at least help me gage what I was doing wrong or when I was right on track.

My parenting ideas mostly have come from things that I thought were successful or unsuccessful of my parents and other parents that I have watched. You also most include what my husband brings to the table, etc.

I thought I was a certain type of parent but I ended up a different type altogether. Yeah! I became that type of mom that I criticized constantly. I distinctly remember reading "the Baby Book" by Dr. Sears for the first time and being totally against everything he said. what was this about wearing your child and such hippie granola ideas...that wasn't me at all and most of all that wasn't what I learned from my parents. Well guess what? I agree to most of it with some caveats and some individualized tweaking.

I wore my son as much as I could even now that he is showing signs of Independence. I do not believe in crying it out. Thus my child sleeps with us for most of the night (very bad, I admit).

I am a working mom. This means that I can only do so much. My husband and I are adamant about not wanting our child in daycare not because we have a problem with daycare. I was a daycare baby. The issue is my husband and I have strong views about vaccination, We are staggering our child's schedule and his pediatrician is working with us. Because of this I am very careful where I take my baby. Having him in daycare is not an option because of this.

My husband is a stay at home Dad and an excellent one at that. My son thrives and learns thanks to his Dad. My husband Chip, goes to college, online, and takes care of Carr. Thankfully, we both are on the same page on any issues that have to do with the baby. My son and husband love each other deeply and have a very close bond. My husband knows that having the opportunity to create this bond is a blessing and I think that in the long run it will make my family very strong. My husband knows how hard it is to raise a child, and he appreciates us very much.

I wish that I could stay home instead but both Chip and I think that Chip's college degree needs to come first. Schooling is important to both of us. I found my dream and I want hime to find his. Once he finishes, we can revisit me staying at home for sometime.

Being a working mom, many things that I wish to do for my son have to be modified to fit our situation. It is my wish that my baby eat healthy and homemade foods. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the energy or the time to make this happen. So I stopped beating myself up for this and compromised. I jar feed my child organic and I add some natural element to it. An example of this:

I fed my son a jar of herb chicken and pasta and gave him steamed green beans as finger food. I always give Carr dessert, pears and prunes tonight and I added small grapes cut up in fours.

He now is having breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner. He drinks anywhere from 28 ounces to 32 ounces of soy milk a day. He has a healthy appetite. I am starting to plan to go totally homemade now that he is on stage three baby food. I haven't made up my mind as to when to do this. I plan to talk to his pediatrician about this and see from there.

This is my baby station in the kitchen. This is where I can see at a glance what I have and what I am missing for Carr. I also freeze most of his proteins and prepare them day before.

After 5 pm everyday until 6 am I am on baby duty. Firstly, because I want my husband to rest from the parenting but mostly because I want every minute I can have with my child. I am a full-time mom on weekends. I wear my child as much as I can but chores get in the way sometimes.

I love our morning together, he normally wakes up at 7 am. We get up, have a ba. We turn on the sprout channel and we play together until about 9:30 am. Mommy needs breakfast and so does baby. I give Carr sometime to play by himself, while I start writing, reading or knitting. Nap time! Carr wakes up in great moods after his nap, we usually play and cuddle afterwards. This is our morning routine and I dig in my heels when for some reason we cannot enjoy this.

My son watching sprout while I prepare his breakfast.

He loves to have his picture taken.

He is a morning person, he is at his best. He doesn't dig late afternoon and nights. He is a good sleeper, especially if he is with us. I know he shouldn't sleep with us but maybe because I don't spend enough time with him, I like to cuddle with him at night. We are getting a crib soon and maybe with a better mattress he will not wake up and sleep through the night by himself.

On disciplining:

we haven't decided yet how we feel about every method out there. It really depends on Carr. What we have done so far is say a lot of no-nos and gentles. I'll have to get back to you on this topic at a later date.

Our special Christmas and New Year dinner

My brother in-law Hunter, my sister in-law Lori, my niece Betsy, mother in-law Lynn, father in-law Papa and us had our family Christmas last night. We decided to do this after christmas because of previous engagements that you might have read or not. We were in Atlanta and Hunter and Lori and Betsy were in Vermont.

We had a wonderful night, dinner was as my mother in-law said "some childhood edible memories" and even though my little boy was a handful (going through a growth spurt and teething also!) I managed to really enjoy myself.

Unfortunately, I didn't take any photos. Couldn't think straight, I had woken up at 6 am, worked all day, and then gone to Wal-mart to get groceries. I was literally exhausted! But dinner was delicious, grandma tutti had prepared 2 kinds of chicken entrees, both equally superb. Hunter fed my baby chicken livers that night. Carr seemed to loved it and best of all had no problem sleeping.

Carr loved on everyone and really enjoyed playing with his cousin Betsy. He loves his gifts and so do I! We are very blessed, Carr has received so many toys and keepsakes. This is a day later, playing and watching sprout channel.

Yes, he got old timey them! He also received a bunch of baby books and ornament keepsakes for our tree next year.

This is by far Carr's favorite author. He loves these books always goes for them first. I am proud to say that my son has equally as much books as toys and he enjoys playing with them as much!

I need to add a note, Lori knits like the Gods. she made my mother in-law a handbag that I absolutely covet! she made me this scarf and these gloves are chip's. I have to make him take them off!

I need to add a special thank you to my mother in-law Lynn. After all that she does for me on a personal level, her support and her words of encouragement, she finds the time and goes to the expense of buying me these beautiful pearls. They are exguisite as they are priceless in my eyes. Thank you Lynn!