Motherhood is a hard calling, there is no rest, no going back and in a lot of cases no second chances. The long nights, the endless worrying and frustration are only overshadowed by the inexplicable feeling of pure and utter joy a mother feels when she watches he child sleep soundly, play contently and eat wholeheartedly. At least these are irrefutable truths to me. But it is those days when your sweet innocent child pushes everyone of your mortal buttons, when everything seems to go wrong and for some inexplicable reason you feel guilty because somehow this is all your fault. This guilt and self loathing makes it very hard to stop, take a breathe and count your blessings. This is when I sit down and write my list of blessings and all the advances Carr and I have achieved in a reasonable amount of time. It makes me focus on the good days, which come to realize are many more than the complicated ones. It brings me back to the place I should be: A very happy mom.
I have never taken baths with my son while he was a baby for fear of germs or adult illnesses that he may have been to small to fight off. Lately, we have been enjoying a once a week bath together. It has been so much fun! Call it bonding time, if you must. We play together with his toys, I wash his hair and he is learning how to wash mine (great way to teach him how to shampoo his own hair), he uses his sponge and we have learned most of the body parts this way (eyes, nose, mouth, chin, legs) I can hear him say them with his ever so cute voice. I thoroughly enjoy our time together even if it means the bathroom is a wreck after wards I find it hard to really wash my hair or myself, and I can't get dressed until he is in PJs and all dried up. I spend so much time away from him while at work that this just makes me feel closer to him.
Carr has taken a liking to reading all by himself. Please do not think he actually reads, he just sits all alone in his playroom and goes through his favorite books and points out the things he knows while saying them out loud. I have tried unsuccessfully to videotape this, once he sees me he stops and goes back to playing with his trains. His favorite book is "Goodnight Moon", I read it to him every night. Today, I bought another book that I think he will like "Somewhere over the Rainbow". We still practice every other day with his picture books and flash cards, which is not his cup of tea, but I have learned to interchange it with playtime, making it more bearable for him.
I must admit that my husband Chip was right, that I need not have worried about Carr's language abilities. He doesn't shut up, at all, and he talks in sentences, which is pretty cool. I am so thankful! My favorite phrases would have to be: Mommy, I am happy; I play outside please; So cool Mommy;
I feel better already. It's Sunday night, I have done everything I wanted to do this weekend. I had time to play and run around with Carr, spend time with the hubby and I finally finished this post. Have a great week and remember there are good days and there will be most certainly bad days, it's how we deal with the bad days that defines us.